Anxiety about the Project

Grace and peace to you from God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ.

I finally finished the major upgrades to the website. While I know that I will be continually tweaking and modifying the site, I am now ready to start developing the actual content which will be the site. It’s funny. Now that I am ready, I find myself not knowing what to say. There are so many directions to go and so many topics to think about that I am not sure where to start.

My Anxiety

One of the major obstacles to writing is my desire to have a cleanly organized and coherent body of works. However, that is not what I am setting out to do. This project is meant to be a little messy and even a little scattered. But there is a part of me, deep down, that is utterly opposed to that idea. I want the world to see the polished and refined version of me, not the bumbling and confused version of me.

At the same time, I want people to see me as I truly am. I am not this person who has life all put together and figured out. Though the Lord has gifted me at being able to teach the Bible to others, I still am unsure about some passages. I still have many unanswered questions. There are still many questions from others that I don’t know how to answer. Not knowing doesn’t bug me. But I know that people look at me as someone who often has the answers, and I don’t want to let people down.

Overcoming My Anxiety

When the anxiety begins to build, that is when I remember Philippians 4:4-7:

Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

Prayer helps me to overcome my anxiety.  It is far to easy to become dependent on my own abilities and forget that I am truly dependent upon God. He is my solid rock and the source of strength and peace. Prayer reminds me of that. Prayer focuses my heart and my attitude on God and allows the world to slip away so that only he exists. It is a beautiful moment.

Sadly, it is a spiritual discipline that I am not very consistent about living. However, it is one that I am working on developing more because I know from personal experience the life altering impact that it has. When I go without prayer, life can become burdensome and tiring. When prayer is constant, there is a joy in each day that I cannot describe. Even when things go wrong and terrible problems arise, there is a peace and joy from God in it all.

May these words encourage both you and I to pray more, to seek God more, each day.


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